Ep 6 - Whose Standard Are You Playing At?

Have you ever walked into a new workplace, looked around the room and immediately questioned whether you were "too dressed up"?

In this episode, I'm challenging that way of thinking.

Because one of the biggest mistakes ambitious women make is allowing the standards of the people around them to dictate how they show up. But here's the truth: their standard is not your standard.

If you're building a career, growing a business or stepping into leadership, you can't afford to dress for the level everyone else is playing at. You need to dress for where you're going - not where you are today.

This episode is for you if...

You've ever felt like you needed to shrink to fit into your environment or worried about standing out for making an effort. If you're ready to stop dressing to blend in and start showing up as the leader you know you're capable of becoming, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why your colleagues' standard shouldn't determine how you show up

• The expensive mistake of dressing down just to fit in

• Why leaders naturally stand out in every room they enter

• How your environment influences your standards and ambition

• Why you should dress for the career you're building - not the one everyone else is settling for

• The executive client who raised the standard in her workplace simply by showing up differently

• Why image isn't about impressing people - it's about leading with intention

• The difference between shrinking to make others comfortable and holding your own standard

• Why clothing acts as armour in high-stakes situations

• How to stop asking, "Am I too dressed up?" and start asking, "Is this environment meeting my standard?"

• The mindset shift that changes how you see yourself - and how others see you

Episode Chapters

00:00 Whose Standard Are You Playing At?

01:45 The Interview That Sparked This Episode

03:30 The Expensive Cost of Lowering Your Standards

04:53 Their Standard Is Not Your Standard

06:45 Dress for the Career You're Building

08:00 Why Leaders Look Like Leaders

09:47 You Set the Standard

11:00 The Ripple Effect of Raising Your Standard

12:15 My Corporate Story: Refusing to Shrink

13:20 Stop Asking, "Am I Too Dressed Up?"

14:00 Dress for the Room You're Heading To

14:25 Hold Your Standard - and Everything Changes

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If the people around you are showing up casually in jeans, hoodies, birkin stocks, and you're walking in dress like a leader, who's got it right? Today we're talking about whose standard you're actually playing at and whether you've been deeming your light to make other people comfortable. Aloha! Welcome to the Jane Mo Show, the go-to podcast for women who are ready to feel good in what they wear and show up confident, powerful, and ready to dominate. I'm Jane Mo, personal brain stylist, style coach, and trusted image consultant for ambitious women worldwide. With nearly two decades of experience styling women across Australia, the US, and Europe, I help my clients translate their identity into their wardrobe so that they show up with credibility, confidence, and commanding presence. What you wear is more than just clothes. What you wear is your business card. It's how you make your mark command attention and leave an unforgettable impression. Each week, I'll be bringing real life insights and practical advice to help you elevate the way you show up. And if you're feeling disconnected from how you're showing up and can't quite articulate exactly what's not working, be sure to grab my free guide, the six style mistakes that are diluting your personal brand and keeping you from being seen at your next level. Head over to the link in the show notes below or visit janemo.com forward slash mistakes to grab your copy. Let's get started with today's episode. Before we get into this episode, I just want to make a quick apology. I have been in the depths of getting my one of my corporate clients, CEO clients. I can't say she's one of the best because all my other clients listen to this podcast. But anyway, she is an absolute powerhouse. And I have been getting her ready for her speaking gig in Geneva. If you've been following me on Instagram, you would have gotten a snippet of what it's been like behind the scenes putting together outfits for this CEO client. So it's been a whirlwind of a week. We've been on a bit of a time crunch getting everything ready together for her for this trip. So we've missed our Wednesday upload of the podcast, and I'm coming to you now on the weekend. But anyway, here we are, and we are going to get into today's episode. So I got a DM recently from someone who had just accepted a new job. And she'd gone in for the interview, she'd nailed it, she got the role, and she said to me, Oh my gosh, I went in and it wasn't the interview itself that threw me off, but what people actually walked in with, like what they were wearing. And she said, the people who were interviewing her, the owner, the hiring team were all showing up in jeans, hoodies, and birkenstocks. And she'd turn up in a suit and she said to me, Look, Jane, I was so surprised. I mean, the people interviewing me didn't seem to care at all about how they were presenting themselves. And I just thought to myself, yeah, yep, that says everything. Not about her, but about them. And it got me thinking, because I get a lot of people who say this to me, my work environment is casual. So why should I dress up? Or, you know, everyone around me doesn't seem to care. And I want to dive into this today because here's what I see a lot of women struggling with. You walk into a new job, a new environment, a new team, and you look around and you think, oh my gosh, everyone here is really casual. No one seems to care that much. Am I overdressed? Am I too much? Should I just tone it down? And slowly, even without realizing it, you start adjusting. And you know this. If you're listening to this, you'll be like, I've done this before. You start adjusting yourself, you start dressing down, you start shrinking just to fit in. And I want to say that, my friend, is one of the most expensive things you can do. Not financially, but in terms of where you're going and who you become. So I've got three points I want to cover today. Point one, their standard is not your standard. Okay. Your coworkers' standard is not your standard. I want that to sink in. Your coworkers have a completely different path, career path, life path to yours. So why would you look to them to decide how you should show up? Are they aspiring to be the next CEO? Are they aspiring to be the next leader, the next head of department? Are they gunning for the same leadership position you're going for? Are they going for a promotion? You know what? The most likely answer to that, I can tell you, is no. They're just comfortable coasting along. You can usually tell because people who are going somewhere, they look like it. They stand out, they hold themselves differently, they have a certain presence, like they've got a goal they're heading towards. You can always spot a leader in a sea of workers. They stick out like a sore thumb. And here's the thing about our environment: where you are affects who you become. The people you are surrounded by, the standards you absorb, the energy in the room, all of it has an effect on you, on the way you think, on the way you show up, on the way you dress. That's why you'll always hear people say, choose your circles carefully. My dad drilled that into me. He always said, make sure you choose your friends carefully and the people you surround yourself with. Because the people around you will always pull on your standards, on your thinking, on your ambition. And the same thing happens at work. If everyone around you is showing up like they've rolled out of bed, that becomes the norm. And so everybody starts doing it. And your brain starts to say, maybe that's the standard. Maybe I'm the one in the wrong here. Maybe I should fit in. But here's what I want you to hear, my friend. Their standard is not your standard. Write that on a post-it note. Okay. Put it on your bathroom mirror, on your closet door, everywhere in the house. So you can remind yourself, every time you get dressed, their standard is not your standard. Okay. You don't have to sink to that level because you're not dressing for the career they're building. You're dressing for the career you're building. It's your journey, your career. Point two, if you want to be perceived as a leader, if that's your intention, your journey in life, your chosen goal, you have to look like one. If that's not for you, then that's okay. Dressing up doesn't have to be the thing that you're doing. But if you're aiming for a promotion, if you want to climb the career ladder, you have to look like you're going somewhere. You have to look like you got your shit together. So one of my executive clients, she's in the insurance industry. Brilliant woman, really going places. And on one of our calls, she said to me, Jane, no one really dresses up where I work. Everyone is super casual. And that's coming from an executive client, someone in an executive role. And I said to her, Well, we have to decide how we want to show up. So think about politicians for a second. Do you ever see a politician showing up disheveled, unpolished, like they've just thrown something on? I've never seen a politician show up looking like they've just got out of bed, right? They're always polished in a suit, looking presentable. Because they understand something fundamental. If you want people to buy into you, you have to look like someone worth buying into. You have to look like you have it together, like you can lead, like you are already operating at that level. And this is not just about how other people perceive you, it's about how you feel. I mean, think about high-stake moments, right? Walking into a board meeting, presenting to stakeholders, sitting at the table where big decisions are being made, you're nervous, your palms are sweaty, everyone's watching you. I guarantee you, if you look the part, it changes everything. Not just for them, for you. Because clothing is an armor, it's a shield. And when you put it on with intention, it gives you the confidence to be the center of attention. And as a mentor said to me once, she said, don't give the remote control of your life to someone else. So, my friend, I want you to take control of your image and your brand. Okay. Those two things are in your control. Use it. Point three, you set the standard. So here's my favorite part to that story I just told you about my executive client, the one who told me no one dresses up at work where she works. She sends me a message three months later, and she said she's been getting comments every single day from her colleagues, people who she thought didn't care about how they dressed, people who she assumed would never notice, right? They noticed. And not only that, she started seeing people lift their game at work. And the people under her started making an effort. They started showing up with intention. The dress code started to change. It was like a ripple effect through the office. Because that's the thing, right? Standards are contagious. When you hold yours without apology, without explanation, you give other people permission to rise to that level. You become the woman in the office everyone looks to. You become the benchmark. And that is leadership. Not just what you say in a meeting, but how you walk in. The standard that you set silently just by being in the room. And here's a very important question for you. Have you ever toned down how you dressed because you didn't want to stand out? Have you ever left that statement piece at home because you thought, oh, people might think I'm trying too hard. I'm not just, I'm not going to wear these orange pants today because people might look at me differently. And this is not just your nine to five job. Think about showing up in your real life with your family and your friends. Have you ever toned down how you dress because you just don't want to make people feel uncomfortable? I remember when I went back to corporates. If you listened to episode one, you'll know about this chapter in my life. I uh took a 905 job for a couple of years while I was pivoting my business. And I went into certain work environments. I'm not going to name names, but I stuck out like a sore thumb. Now, if you haven't seen me in real life, please come check me out on Instagram because my head is half shaved. I've got a bold sense of style. Anyway, I showed up to one of my interviews with my head half shaved, and the owner said to me, this is like months later, after they hired me, he said, Look, I saw you and I thought she could work really well with our designers and architects because she looks like she belongs in that world. And I got the job because I didn't deem myself. And yes, there were people in that company who were threatened by how I showed up, who were uncomfortable with how I held myself. And I had a choice. I could shrink to make them comfortable, or I could hold my standard and keep going. And I chose to hold my standard. Because when someone is threatened by the way you show up, by how polished you are, how intentional you are, how much effort you make, that is their insecurity talking, not yours. You're not responsible for making other people comfortable by making yourself smaller. So I want you to stop asking, am I too dressed up for this environment? And I want you to start asking, is this environment meeting my standard? Because you're not dressing for the room you're in. You're dressing for the room you're heading to. Those are two very different rooms. So here's what I want you to take from this episode. Whose standard are you playing at? Is it yours? Or have you slowly, quietly, without even realizing it, adopted someone else's standard? Because you get to decide. You get to decide what level you play at. You get to decide how you show up. You get to decide what your standard is and hold it. Even when the room isn't there yet, even when people look at you sideways, even when you feel like you're the only one making an effort. So this week, dress like you already have that role that you're going for. Dress like the leader you already are on the inside. Make every interaction count. Because when you hold your standard, you don't just change how people see you, you change how you see yourself. And that changes everything. If this episode resonated with you, come find me on Instagram. At JaneMo Stylist is my handle. Send me a DM. I'd love to hear what your standard is and what you're going to stop compromising on. All the links in the show notes below, my friend, and I'll see you in the next episode. Ciao! Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. If this episode resonated with you, I'd absolutely love for you to share it, leave a review on Apple Podcasts, or send it to someone who might be struggling and needs to hear it. If you want to connect with me further, you can find all the links in the show notes below. Until next time, keep showing up as the woman you're always meant to be. I'll see you in the next episode.